How to Recognize an Eating Disorder in Your Child

Weight loss reality shows. How a celeb lost the baby weight. Digitally altered photos of already-stick-thin models. The fixation on weight – and the beauty that supposedly accompanies thinness – has become a staple in pop culture reportage. Is it any wonder that as many as 10 million females and 1 million males in the United States are battling anorexia or bulimia? This is just one of the frightening statistics from the National Eating Disorder Association. Some others:

• Over one-half of teenage girls and nearly one-third of teenage boys use unhealthy weight control behaviors such as skipping meals, fasting, smoking cigarettes, vomiting and taking laxatives.
• 42 percent of first- through third-grade girls want to be thinner.
• 81 percent of 10-year-olds are afraid of being fat.
• 40 percent of newly identified cases of anorexia are in girls 15 to 19 years old.

Obviously, teens are especially vulnerable to feelings of peer and societal pressure. “A teen with an eating disorder may initially feel great. Their weight is going way down. They are in control and ‘model thin.’ They don't see a problem. But as the eating disorder begins to take on a life of its own, they may feel confused, scared, and ashamed,” says Merle Cantor Goldberg, LCSW, DCSW, a psychotherapist in Silver Spring who specializes in treating young people with eating disorders and obesity issues.

A young person’s fear that their eating disorder has spiraled out of their control may make it daunting for them share their secret with a parent. “They are more likely to confide in a sister, friend, or teacher.” So how can you determine if your child is trying to hide an eating disorder from you?

In one of Cantor Goldberg’s books, My Thin Excuse: Understanding, Recognizing, and Overcoming Eating Disorders, she identifies 24 signs to look for when trying to determine if someone you love may have an eating disorder. Here, she shares the three most important clues:

• An increasing change or preoccupation with food habits, body image or exercise routine
• A continuing loss of weight often masked by baggy clothes, and feeling tired, chilled and very moody
• Isolating more from family and friends and often losing interest in previous activities.

“Learn about eating disorders before you talk to your child and find a quiet, safe, unhurried place to talk. Gently express your love and concern and back it up in a non-judgmental way with the facts you have learned,” advises Cantor Goldberg. The key is to help your child understand the seriousness of such a disease – and that, left unattended, can be fatal. “Most parents have said to me, ‘I knew something was seriously wrong but didn't know what was happening or what to do,’” says Cantor Goldberg. “Professional help is key.”

For more information on eating disorders, or to find help locally, contact Cantor Goldberg.