#2 The Groundrules

I had a whole post ready about tryouts but realized that I kept putting in asides to explain this or that about me and where I'm coming from and so I decided to just go with those for now.

So, Dear Reader, when reading my posts, please keep the following in mind:

- My soccer-playing daughter is 12 so all of my experiences are drawn from U7-U12 teams (specifically one team and what I've learned from talking to other managers). Stick with me throughout this year and you'll hear about U13, I'm sure. My basketball-playing daughter is 9 and we're just beginning that odyssey. To the extent that anything starts to differ for older age groups, please feel free to share via the comments.

- Other than a couple of small dogs, I am the only male in our house. Both of my daughters' teams and the majority of their friends are female. If I tend to use feminine pronouns more than masculine or gender-neutral, it's just a force of habit.

- My daughter also plays in goal. This is a whole 'nuther world and you are sure to hear about it.

- I don't think that winning is the most important part of this, especially at the younger ages. The sports and other opportunities that we give our children should be about teaching them the importance of working to develop a skill, being part of a team, winning and losing gracefully, and good sportsmanship.We are also teaching our children that rules matter and that there are no shortcuts. Finally, we are teaching them (always) to be good adults.

- Anything younger than U13 should be considered developmental. I like that WAGS doesn't even track/post scores until the U12 year and can understand the arguments that they shouldn't even go to "divisions" until U13 11 v 11. Games at the U12 and under, other than as learning tools, don't matter. I'm sure you'll hear more about this from me.

- I will try to find support for points I make or facts I cite. I'll try. I really will.

- Be nice. The soccer community in this area is vast but at the same time very small. You will run into coaches, players, parents and referees all the time both on and off of the pitch. For parents and players just starting out - here is a tip: the coaches and managers all know each other. Word about overly dramatic players or high-maintenance parents gets around. Be involved in premiere soccer for a few years and you'll get to know the players who move from team to team (not always a bad thing) and coaching habits. Don't burn any bridges.

- On a related note, team managers, league representatives, registrars, and many coaches are volunteers. The time required to manage a premiere level team can be astounding and daunting but largely invisible to other team parents. Be nice and an occassional word of thanks goes a long way.

- I believe that we should let coaches coach. Parents should be involved in budget decisions, possibly practice locations/carpools, etc. Parents should not be involved in coaching decisions - including where and how much your child plays on the field. By that same token, however, Coaches aren't parents. They may become parental figures and this can be useful but parents should also assert themselves when Coaches reach beyond the coaching role.

- Sports are about fun. At the competitive levels this can be hard to remember all of the time but it is extremely important to check in once and while. At the younger ages, especially, limit your post-game questions to "Did you have fun" and monitor the answer.

- Cheer on your children and their team, especially when they are losing. My daughter played in a game a few seasons ago against a very good team. Even though (as her unbiased parent), I thought she played a very good game in goal and make a number of great saves, the other team scored many times and they lost handily. This was the third or fourth game in a row that the team had gotten beaten soundly and the parents were understandably frustrated. My daughter was frustrated at being scored on but one of her few comments was "Why didn't the parents cheer?" They notice. Cheer them on.

- Finally, I've never been accused of being at a loss for words. Apologies in advance if these posts ramble.

Until next time!

Michael