Status update - how is that whole chillin' out thing going?

In a blog post I wrote about 18 months ago chastising myself for giving into to the youth soccer hype, I promised the following:

1. I will stop coaching from the sidelines and during the car ride home.
2. I will stop groaning at a goal against or other silly mistakes.
3. I will let parent politics be. If you believe the grass is greener elsewhere, best of luck - life will go on.
4. I will stop caring about WAGS and its divisions.
5. I will enjoy every moment of watching my girls play whatever sport they wish to play to the best of their ability.
6. I will be a better dad.

Since, then, I've been through two full outdoor soccer seasons, three indoor soccer seasons, two basketball seasons (both as a coach) and saw my youngest child start her soccer days.

So, how am I doing?

I will stop coaching from the sidelines and during the car ride home.

For the most part, I think I have been better. Car rides are more reflective and I am willing to let things go. I still have to remind myself occassionally but am fairly happy. Here is a trick - videotape the games. No one likes to hear their own voice so this will shut you up.

I will stop groaning at a goal against or other silly mistakes.

Better at this one too. At least I'm less vocal about it. It also makes the game more enjoyable when you let mistakes go.

I will let parent politics be. If you believe the grass is greener elsewhere, best of luck - life will go on.

There was a time when, as manager, I would really try to hold it all together. But I've found that simply wishing those who want to leave the best of luck is simplest. I didn't understand initially why coaches didn't fight harder to keep some players but now I get it. You can't do anything! Let them go. It doesn't matter. It might be really annoying but you don't really want anyone who doesn't want to be there. If any managers learn anything from me, I think this is key.

I will stop caring about WAGS and its divisions.

Full disclosure - since I wrote the initial blog, the girls have been playing well and advancing in divisions. But, I really do care less than I did. The key in this was coming to a personal decision of exactly what we are "developing" these kids for. Most will not play in college. All will, however, benefit from a little adversity, a little hardwork, and the lessons of being on a team. Once I came to grips with that, it was easier.

I really do however, want to write a post about what I see as the various pros and cons of the recently changes to the landscape (VCCL/CCL, WAGS, ACL, ECNL, Regional leagues) as the dynamics are really interesting. There is a good discussion going on at Potomac Soccer Wire. If you can ignore the obviously bitter or attacking posts, there is some good information.

I will enjoy every moment of watching my girls play whatever sport they wish to play to the best of their ability.

Done. Watching my kids play or do any activity is one of the great joys of my life. Watching them grow in confidence and try new things is, frankly, awesome. It pains when I can't get to games (missed the first middle school game yesterday).

Remember, Moms and Dads, to soak it in and simply enjoy it. Don't tie yourself it knots and cheer, even when they are doing well. They are your kids. The other team's kids are someone else's kids. It is supposed to be fun!

I will be a better dad.

Well...jury is still out, I suppose. At some point in the future, I'll ask my children if they remember Fall 2011 and my decision to relax and if they even noticed. They probably won't but so far so good. They are still playing sports. Still having fun.

Did anyone else make a change? Anyone else want to share results?